Important, life lessons that I have learned from my students:

1) $h!t is the technical term for the stuff inside a pumpkin.

"Has anyone ever made a Jack-o-Lantern?"
"Yes, you cut open the top of the pumpkin and there is a bunch of $h!it inside that you have to take out, then you put a face on it."

2) All of the good looking men come from Croatia.

"Do you have a boyfriend."
"Not at the moment."
"Well, then you should go to Croatia. That is where all sexy of the men are from."

3) Never date Italian men.

In reaction to the joke: “Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and it is all organised by the Swiss. Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are English, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and it is all organised by the Italians”.

"Does anyone have a comment about the joke? Do you think it is funny? Is it true?"
"NO! ITALIAN MEN ARE NOT GOOD LOVERS!!!"

4) Cheating is the fastest way to become Lord Sith.

"What is my rule about cheating?"
"Cheating is bad. Cheating is the way to the dark side. If you are cheating your lightsaber will turn red and you become Lord Sith."

5) Harry Potter is ALWAYS relevant.

"Can anyone give me an example of a formal statement"
"Dear Mr. Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have passed your Defense Against the Dark Arts exam."

6) The great outdoors is not called "nature" it is called "the nature."

"What are some typical Czech hobbies?"
"Well, most Czech families love to go mushrooming outside in the nature."

7) You are NOT supposed to eat vegetables.

During our "food pyramid" lesson:
"What are peas?"
"They're little green circle vegetables."
"GROSS! You are NOT supposed go eat vegetables. All vegetables are discusting, especially peas. Peas are little green yucks. You'll die if you eat too many of those."